As we approach another Father's Day, thoughts of being with my children together again bring forth an eruption of wellness and joyful excitement from within my being. It is my desire to be with them more than they could know for now, for now is today and the lingering moments of being alone in the present create a longing for the future days of being all together to have a fun time once again.
It is, indeed, my purely selfish desire to be with them, I am so very proud of them and their growth. They are all adults now. I love them so.
To feel deeply and sense longing are too real and exposed at times as they have matured and moved on to other homes and work. Although we have had some great and fun times as a family in the past, it is not the past the I desire, but a future of reciprocated loving desire to be with them and them with me...that I need the most.
As I have grown in my walk with my heavenly Father, I have been led down the roads of grace, suffering, love, mercy, unrelenting examination, trial, and opportunities of expression. My Father loves me, this I know, and the inherent love that my heavenly Father has for me, as I continue to learn, is that He so desires for me to return His love willingly and without reservation. He loves me to love Him. He doesn't love me just to love Him back, but He loves it when I love Him like He loves me.
Many things I have learned as a father of three, but this I desire the most: that my children would want to love me like I love them, and so desire to be with me as I desire to be with them. It is the opportunity of choice that we have been afforded in grace by a loving heavenly Father and it is that same choice that my own children are given to make contact, to love near and to so desire me that the joy unspeakable overwhelms my soul. Moments are few and precious in the giving and receiving of true love.
Moments...moments that are so fleeting, that the breath that I breathe is filled with the aroma of presence, it is so with Him, as it is with me. Is the love that I have loved with deserving of a love returned?
Could I have loved better? A resounding, yes, a better love not frought with despair and stress, worry and complaint. I could have loved better.
Honesty and truth will not let me go here, for it is in truth, that love loves best.
What is real, what is true, is the place of rest for true love.
The place that love loves best is as a treasure sought with much breath, the breath that seemingly eludes, that I now have to run and catch, but is there, captured and dwells within.
My true love for my children is real, is deep, and is inseparable. The love that loves best is not easy, but always is.
It is with this love that I could have loved better and to love better still in the moments to come is to love all the more with the moments I am given.
And so it is with this upcoming Father's Day, that the moment of the day begins even now. Love now is in the heart and the time spent is in the mind.
If you are in the military and are being forced to be away, may the time spent in the next few moments be real and true. Let love love its best. Love hard and don't let the moments elude as in a failing breath, but breathe all the more of the love of the Father Who loves you and love as He has loved as love has loved its best in Him.